It is finally time for my long anticipated vacation. Today I will travel from North Carolina to Pennsylvania. I like to travel by myself, the conversation is good. I spend time talking to myself, talking to God, talking on the phone. I have to consult my map often because it is easy for me to get into a groove and just keep going not paying attention to details like turning. For me "lost" is just a word that describes an unscheduled adventure.
For the past several years I have been on the road to transplant. I've known for a while that some day I will need new lungs. It's always been looming in the the future. I've rationalized that with each hospitalization I was a little closer. I have anticipated there will come a time that I will slow down more; that some day I will need oxygen to exercise then some day I will need oxygen to breathe. I have anticipated a gradual decline slowly leading into transplant. Someday.
Since I am feeling fairly healthy and not on oxygen I was not anticipating what the Duke Doctors told me yesterday. Apparently, pneumothoraxes (holes in the lungs) are red flags that expedite the transplant process. The more you have, the more you are likely to have. My x-ray showed another pneumo on my right side. Fortunately this one is relatively small so no chest tubes. They used strong words to describe the possibilities, words like respiratory distress that could lead to expiration. I always thought that was a funny way of describing death, like some cold cut that has gone bad. ("OK, You're time is up, out of the fridge.")
The transplant team is meeting this week and they will review my case. Given my recent challenges it seems that transplant could be closer then I had been thinking; it could become real, not just some far off destination. Someday it will come and when it does I will rise to the occasion. However, today I will live in the power and peace of the moment. Today all I have to do is enjoy the road I'm on now. So I'm off to enjoy my vacation, wonder what adventures I'll find.
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1 comment:
Tina,
I love your writings, & the emotions you stirred in my heart! You're amazing....praising our God, in spite of tough difficulties! I'll be in prayer concerning all the details for your transplant!
Happy belated birthday, you deserve alot of fanfare for this awesome milestone!
Saw your family yesterday, drivng by our bean patch. Ashley is an attractive young lady, I hadn't seen her with glasses yet. Austin still had that "fun look" in his eyes, ready for adventure.
Continue to enjoy life, & thank you for the reminder to slow down for life's simple but grand pleasures.
Take care, Gwen
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