Being Here

I was hoping to make it through the rest of this year without another hospital stay. I am sad to say that is not so. It's been 7 weeks since my last hospital visit and here I am again. The usual brought me to my demise- fever, extra congestion, shortness of breath or (SOB) as they refer to it in medical jargon.

I've been here since monday. I am beginning to feel better, which makes being here harder. The weather is supposed to be beautiful in East Tennessee this weekend. One of the last tastes of Fall before winter comes. I want to be outside enjoying the sunshine and the final days of warmth.

I am trying to embrace what is, not what I would like it to be. I know if I focus too much on my desire for this hospital stay to be over with then I will become very frustrated and I will miss the goodness of what is happening now. At this moment I am resting in a comfortable bed. I am enjoying the quite hum of the IV machine. I am watching the sun come through the window casting ever changing shadows on the wall. I am eating a blue berry muffin that is quite tasty. I am breathing. I may not have all that I want but I have all that I need for this moment.