Ups and Downs When I look out my window I can see the big, gold globe that Knoxville built to host the 1982 world's fair. The sky is gray as it has been raining for the last couple of days and it looks like it will be raining through the weekend. Dreary weather makes it easier to be in the hospital, the outside world is not quite as enticing when the rain is pouring down. I am in recovery mode but still feel very weak, taking a shower is a major endeavor that leaves my energy depleted. I feel old, worn out.
I am doing the dance of ambivalence again. I'm glad to be in the hospital and have all my needs taken care of; it's wonderful not to have to think about preparing food, when to take meds or taking care of anyone else. I'm sad to be in the hospital because I feel disconnected from my family and friends. Up and down the seesaw of emotions go.
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