What's Next

The decision has been made, my fate decided. The transplant team called earlier this week and their verdict is that now is not the time for transplant. They would like to get more mileage out of my current lungs. When they told me a huge sigh of relief came at the same time of more frustration due to waiting. (Have I mentioned that I hate waiting?)

The team would like me to come to the Durham area for four weeks. They want to see how my body will handle extensive pulmonary therapy i.e. torture in the name of exercise. There are also more tests to run, more educational groups to attend, more extensive evaluation to be done.

My goal is to move over by the beginning of February. It seems like my life goes on hold because of this disease once again. I have to drop out of the play, a disappointment and a relief. I wasn't sure if the joy of acting was going to compensate for the drudgery of breathing. In the past I handled the challenge by making sure my character didn't walk and talk at the same time, it made for some difficult blocking but I don't think the audience picked up on the struggle, that is why they call it acting.

I am overwhelmed with the details that must fall into place in the next week....child care, insurance matters, finding a place to stay over there, packing etc, etc, ad nauseam. To survive I must revert to my mantra- One step at a time.