Knock, Knock
Who's there?
Control Freak. Now this is where you say, "control freak who?"
(If this joke did not strike you as funny then read it over a couple of times, it's complex humor that can take a while.)
I am a recovering control freak. I like my ducks in a row, in a neat symmetrical row lined up from head to tail with no variation. Sure I can be flexible, I like controlled spontaneity. (I like oxymorons too).
As I have pontificated before, the essence of life is beyond us, that which matters most we have the least amount of control over. The present economic earthquake has shaken many to their core helping them realize money is not at the center of all things. Lots of money amuses us so we don't have to think about what is at the center. It is good we are shaken so we can think about what is really important. However, it doesn't feel good.
When life is unstable we tend to micromanage so as to obtain some sense of control. When I say we, I am referring to all people as the control freak scale is a continuum and everyone falls on it somewhere.
Today I am reminded of the progress I have made in my recovery program. I am moving ahead without a detailed, nailed down, full proof plan. I am driving to Durham to begin the month long adventure of pulmonary rehab and all good pre-transplant proceedings. I don't know what lies ahead. I am not sure what it will be like. I will be by myself without my family for a large part of the time. I am not sure where I am staying. I am not certain of my schedule. As you can see my ducks are running about like renegade, foul fowl. God help us all.
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1 comment:
HUGS, Tina!
Will be praying for you and that God will give you the trust you need in Him to work all out for your good.
You should get a facebook account. It is easy to set up and you can update quicker with more but shorter updates! You can also write longer notes too if you want and chat, too!
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