Happy New Year!

A few years ago, when I was in the middle of one of my worst lung infections, I remember opening the Christmas trunk and wondering if that would be the last time I opened it, the last time to pull out decorations, my last Christmas. Obviously it was not my last Christmas, but that type of thinking changes one's approach to life.

This year I purposefully unplugged from my blog, email and all things electronic over the holidays. I did this in an effort to be more fully present to my God, my self and those around me. It was a time to reflect, ponder and live in the now. It was good. Christmas was simple and relaxing. I was blessed with good health and went nearly a month without seeing a Doctor of one type or another.

Now it's time for a new year. I am attempting to live in expectancy without expectations. What does this mean? I wait and wonder what this year will bring. I know very well the things that matter the most are also the things we have the least control over. When struggles come it is often easier to give up hope then to wrestle with dreams that may never come true. Desire is a dangerous emotion opening our heart to all sorts of glorious adventures or possible pit falls. I am waiting and wondering, dreaming without demanding, going without goals. I fluctuate between feeling relaxed and terrified. Time will tell where this takes me.