Falling Down

  Sunday was a glorious fall day.  It's mid October and the leaves are just beginning to change from  lively green to passionate  purples, red, goldss and orange hues of autum.  The tempature climbed to a perfect 73 degree and nature cried out to be celebrated.  What better way to enjoy being outside then with a picnic.  So I head over to my local sub shop to grab some sandwiches and on the way out to my car my plans change suddenly.  Stepping off the curb with three wonderful hoagies in hand I fall down.  My leg collapsed, ham and cheese goes flying through the air, roast beef rolls under the car and I am left sitting on my rump.  I begin to nervously laugh at what must have been a sight to behold.  The commentary begins in my head- " here she comes folks, she's almost there and there she goes folks, she's down."  Feeling flabbergasted I proceed to try to get up and realize I have no control over my right leg.  I can feel it, but it's not responding to my command of pushing me up.  By this time I have gathered a little crowd.  My 14 year old son is watching me, trying to help but having no clue what to do.  An older British man is trying to pull me up but I'm stuck between my car and the truck in the next space.  I'm fluctuating between laughing at the absurdity of the situation and crying because I'm feeling out of control.  After several failed attempts at rising I decide the path of least resistance is to crawl to my car. Once I get there I have to pull myself up by arms and pull my legs inside.  They feel like jello.  My son gathers the spoils while the Brit suggest I take care of my self and wishes me well.  (Gosh, I love that accent).  While I have no upper leg control I do have enough strength in my foot to move from the gas to the brakes so I contemplate my next move.

     Given the option of going to the emergency room or going on a picnic it's very clear to me what is more important.  So we head to the park.  The kids sit on a blanket next to the car and I sit in the car not wanting another rendition of free falling.  The subs are delicious, the sky so blue with the sun so golden, all is perfect. I embrace that moment, bottle it up to draw from the well of happy memories to help balance the bad days I sense will lie ahead for I am aware that I can't feel my lower extremities.

     Once my stomach is full (NOTE- never go the hospital on an empty stomach, just the thought of hospital food makes a papa john's sub tastes like caviar) I head over to the emergency room.  The nurses come out to transfer me to a wheel chair as I cannot move my legs at all by now.  Within an hour the CT scan shows no stroke or blood clots.  I am admitted to the hospital for physical therapy eval and an MRI.  It is now three days later, I was transferred by ambulance to Erlanger hospital in Chattanooga.  I have an IV in my right foot and I am scheduled to have a lumbar laminectomy.  At this moment the surgeon and the anesthesiologist are debating the pros and cons of general anesthesia verses local anesthesia.  They both seem passionate on their positions.  I feel like a pawn waiting to see which way I will be moved.  These doctors are new to me; I have not had the opportunity to tell them that I need a team approach to my medical care and I am the captain.  I will need to understand all possible plays with a risks and benefits analysis before the game begins.  Knowledge is power so I google strange medical terms and evaluate what I can control and what I can not control, one moment at a time.