Tuesday, August 6, 2013

The State of Things Today

Last year at this time I had already been in the hospital twice and was beginning a major decline in my health that would eventually land me back at Duke hospital in North Carolina being evaluated for a double lung transplant.  To say it was a hard year is like saying the ocean is a little wet.  I have been stretched to my limit then stretched some more.  Seems like the stretching is still not finished and I wonder if it ever will be.

Break down the word disease and you get dis ease, this literally translates to the state of not being at ease.  In other words- struggling.  Add Chronic to the disease and you get continuous struggling. 

I live in the tension of accepting that life is a struggle and life is a privilege.  As I type this I am not wearing my oxygen mask.  I can breathe fairly easy and maintain my oxygen saturation level when not exercising.  Breathing is a privilege not afforded to all.  I am thankful, I am grateful and I am struggling.  Life is not compartmentalized into nice boxes with clear labels marked ease and struggle.  Life is a continual  mixture of both pleasure and pain for all of us,  even those with out dis-ease.

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