Last year at this time I had already been in the hospital twice and was beginning a major decline in my health that would eventually land me back at Duke hospital in North Carolina being evaluated for a double lung transplant. To say it was a hard year is like saying the ocean is a little wet. I have been stretched to my limit then stretched some more. Seems like the stretching is still not finished and I wonder if it ever will be.
Break down the word disease and you get dis ease, this literally translates to the state of not being at ease. In other words- struggling. Add Chronic to the disease and you get continuous struggling.
I live in the tension of accepting that life is a struggle and life is a privilege. As I type this I am not wearing my oxygen mask. I can breathe fairly easy and maintain my oxygen saturation level when not exercising. Breathing is a privilege not afforded to all. I am thankful, I am grateful and I am struggling. Life is not compartmentalized into nice boxes with clear labels marked ease and struggle. Life is a continual mixture of both pleasure and pain for all of us, even those with out dis-ease.
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