An Intense Week (and I'm not talking about camping).

I usually don't blog when I'm in a bad mood.  I tend to hold my darker feelings closer preferring not to spew to a world that is already full of negativity and downers.  But tonight it's different, I feel like venting, so let the ranting begin-

This week has been intense,  it began with a bone density test that showed I have lost some bone mass.  This is a nasty side effect from the massive amounts of steroids I've been on over the years.  Unfortunately the future immunosuppresent drugs will cause further deterioration of my bones but I'll be fortunate if I live long enough for this to be any major problem.

Next was a  CT scan  of my sinuses.  If infection is shown then I get the pleasure of having a sinus cavity debridement .  Any residual infection will potentially  negatively impact the new lungs and while I don't want that the thought of having a rotor rooter in my nose is not a pleasant one.

During the consult with the nutritionist she advised that I may need to lose another 10 pounds.  The thinner you are, the easier it is for the surgeons.  She advised not to go too low on the BMI scale as I will lose weight immediately after transplant.  Apparently  it takes your body time to learn to swallow again.  Of course, that is if you are allowed to eat which sometimes you are not allowed to for weeks.  Not to worry a convenient feeding tube will be shoved down your nose and inserted in your stomach.

The pharmacist went over the high cost of post transplant medication which can range from hundreds to thousands of dollars per month.  These meds also contain a wide myriad of side effects including but not limited to- acne, hair loss, extreme agitation, depression, anxiety, fatigue, insatiable hunger, and the occasional loss of digits.

Then there was my annual pap smear.  Enough said.

Tomorrow,  I  am getting a virtual colonoscopy.  This procedure will involve pumping air into me while a CT scan looks inside, all without the joy of sedation, I might add.  Today is prep day which involves not eating anything and drinking horrible, gross stuff-   barium sulfate, magnesium carbonate and citric acid.  The grumbling is building and soon the desired cleanse will begin.  My very own gastric Mt. St. Helen complete with nauseous gases will erupt.

 I have a head ache.  I am hungry and grumpy. I am tired of being poked and prodded.  The worst part is knowing there is no end in sight; it's going to get worse, much worse, before it gets better.