I know I need to be patient. I need to wait. I will practice waiting in the coming days.
I know organ transplant is a mixture of science and art. There will be no exact timing as to when the surgery will happen, how long the new organs will last, what complications or ease may befall on me due to this endeavor of a bilateral lung transplant.
I am tired of waiting; tired of wondering if they will accept me as a candidate. Am I finally sick enough?
Tomorrow the team of experts at Duke hospital in Durham, NC., will come together and view all of the test results from last week's evaluation. Tomorrow they will call and let me know what is next- yes, no or maybe.
Yes, come on over, start the pulmonary rehab. Time will tell if I am truly ready or not.
No, We won't be able to transplant you due to ___________fill in the blank. Certain bacteria, certain complications will keep you off of their list.
Maybe, start the rehab, see how much healthier you become, see if you can buy more time with your native organs.
I'm tired of waiting, tired of life in limbo- Do we move to Durham? When do we move to Durham? In the middle of the Christmas season. I'm too tired to decorate one house, much less two if we move before Christmas.
So tired....time to rest.
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2 comments:
I'm not good at waiting either, so I hope this part ends soon for you. Then I hope the next phase of life holds what's right for you and your family. And that you each have the strength for what lies ahead. Borrowing from Henry David Thoreau, "What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."
Love that Thoreau quote, Amy!
Tina, I can only imagine how tired you are. But I do know that within you is a mighty spirit that will carry you through.
But I don't mean to gloss over the really hard parts...
I read your updates and Tom's with much angst and amazement.
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