OOPS!

Thank you to all of my dear friends who graciously informed me that we turn our clocks back tonight, not last week. Perhaps I got it wrong because I don't pay attention to details, or perhaps my memory lapsed due to stress. I would like to think that I'm just ahead of my time.

Falling Back in Time

We all adjusted our clocks this past weekend. Now the darkness comes earlier at the end of the day. Or does it? The sun did not change when it rose and when it sets. We adjusted our perception of time to better utilize the sun's light for our purposes.

Where am I going with this? I don't know, just thinking again about how our perceptions create our realities, how our perceptions are affected by our perspective. This all sound so heady. Let me try to explain where I am going with all of this. (hang on, it could be a wild ride.)

I grew up in South Florida, near the tropics, closer to the equator then most of the United States where there is lots of sunshine lots of the time thus Florida is nicknamed the sunshine state. Day light savings time doesn't mean a whole lot there because the closer you are to the equator the more constant 12 hours of sunlight you will receive regardless of what season it is.

However in other parts of our country, the tilt of the earth creates more sun shine in the summer and less in the winter as the earth rotates. Therefore, day light savings time impacts people up north more then the south because sunshine is a precious commodity in the cold winter months and daylight savings time allows for people to enjoy the sun more in their awake hours.

All of that to say that the sun never really changes when and for how long it shines. It is constant. Yet our perspective (where we see it from) of the sun changes as the earth rotates so much that we adjust our perception (how we see it) and this creates our reality. (what time of day is it?)

Whew, I'm tired and I'm not even sure this makes sense to anyone else. I think somewhere in this analogy is a lesson about changing and adjusting and letting the sun shine in your life but I'm much too tired now to connect all the dots. Perhaps I will ponder this more later.

The Trial of Trust

As much as I would love to take credit for this writing I can not, it was sent to me from a dear friend. I wept as I read the words as I can relate to the continual desire to trust in spite of feeling naked in the middle of winter. Spring will one day come, until then I stand in the cold and wait....

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"I worry too much. Autumn trees ask me not to worry. They, like Jesus, suggest trust rather than worry.So often in autumn I want to go lean my head against a tree and ask what it feels like to lose so much, to be so empty, so detached, to take off one's shoes that well, and then simply to stand and wait for God's refilling. It sounds so simple, so easy. It isn't easy. But it's possible

Slowly
she celebrated the sacrament of letting go
first she surrendered her green
then the orange, yellow, and red
finally she let go of her brown
shedding her last leaf
she stood empty and silent, stripped bare
Leaning against the winter sky
she began her vigil of trust.

And Jesus said:

Why do you worry about clothes? Remember the flowers growing in the fields: they do not fret about what to wear: yet I assure you not even Solomon in all his royal robes was dressed like one of these.

Shedding her last leaf
she watched its journey to the ground
She stood in silence
wearing the color of emptiness
her branches wondering
How do you give shade with so much gone?

And Jesus said;

Do not be troubled or needlessly concerned.

And then,
the sacrament of waiting began.
The sunrise and sunset watched with tenderness
Clothing her with silhouettes
they kept her hope alive.
They helped her understand that
her vulnerability
her dependence and need
her emptiness
her readiness to receive
were giving her a new kind of beauty.
Every morning and every evening
they stood in silence
and celebrated together
the sacrament of waiting!

And Jesus said;

Now if that is how God cares for the wild flowers in the fields which are here today and gone tomorrow, will He not all the more care for you...?"

Back To Normal

Tomorrow I will have been home from the hospital for one week. The world seems like such a big, beautiful place after being cooped up in a tiny room for 19 days. After 3 weeks our whole family is together again. The kids have been staying at our friend's house because Tom was sick at home while I was in the hospital. He is still in recovery mode and will hopefully return to work next week.

This experience has hit us much harder then the "normal" hospital time. Perhaps because both Tom and I were out of commission at the same time. Perhaps because it was the swine flu causing more uncertainty then usual. Perhaps because this is the fourth hospital stay this year and we have had less time in between stays to recover. I'm not sure of all the factors but I'm ready to get back to "normal".

Over the weekend I told my daughter it is going to take us a little while to get back in our groove. With the raw honesty of a teenager she said, "Mom, we don't' have a groove." Hmmmm...


Hmmmm....here's a thought - what is the difference between being in a groove verses being stuck in a rut.