Inspired by the movie, "Forgiving Dr. Mengel".

"The stupid neither forgive or forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget." -Thomas S. Szasz

Safety, control and other myths

Yesterday I watched "The Surrogates." A futuristic movie where everyone has a robot and these robots do the day to day bidding for their humans. These high tech mannequins have perfect bodies without working out. They feel no pain so they can take great risks without any consequences. Their job is to make life better for their owners. People can have all the pleasure but no pain with a surrogate.

The movie reminds me of how we want life to be better then it is. We really do want risks without consequences, pleasure without pain; We want to be safe. We want to be in control. I want to be in control.

Who matters....

When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand.” -Henri Nouwen

For Today-

“.....every time there are losses there are choices to
be made. You choose to live your losses as passages to anger, blame,
hatred, depression and resentment or you choose to let these losses be passages to something new, something wider, and deeper”. -Henri Nouwen

As of late I have been digging Henri's work.

Wrestlings

"People who read your ideas tend to think that your writings reflect your life."
— Henri J.M. Nouwen

How I love to theorize about what makes life work-
" I know the answers I've given them all"

But theory can not override experience-
"But suddenly now I feel so small"

The harsh lessons of life we do not forget-
"Shaken down to the cavity of my soul"

The answers do not come easy when life does not make sense-
"I know the doctrine and theology but right now they don't mean much to me"

Where do I go from here?-
"This time there's only one thing I've go to know. Do I trust you Lord?"

Time will tell.

What about the heart?

"The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing."-Blaise Pascal

Home

I am free once again. Out of the hospital today after 11 long days. Grateful to be home. Four more days of IV's in front of me but the bulk of it is behind me. Grateful for the familiar noise of home- Play station blaring from the TV, cat purring beside me, children eagerly anticipating the sequel to Iron Man. Tonight life is simple and good.

A Game of Cards

"If life is like a deck of cards, then God is always the wild card....... This is why trust, in the important matters, always feels like risk and why it entails great courage."
-Paula Rinehart

To Lose Heart

Which is the truer message? If we try to hang on to the Romance, what are we to do with our wounds and the awful tragedies of life? How can we keep our heart alive in the face of such deadly arrows? How many losses can a heart take? If we deny the wounds or try to minimize them, we deny a part of our heart and end up living in a shallow optimism that frequently becomes a demand that the world be better then it is. On the other hand, if we embrace the arrows as the final word on life, we despair, which is another way to lose heart. To lose hope has the same effect on our heart as it would be to stop breathing." -The Sacred Romance

Family Time

"This is the South. And we're proud of our crazy people. We don't hide them up in the attic. We bring 'em right down to the living room and show 'em off. See....no one in the South ever asks if you have crazy people in your family. They just ask what side they're on." -Julia Sugarbaker of Designing women.

Spring has sprung!

I have made it through another winter. The cold winds of January, February and March remind me that I am a Florida girl at heart. However, new life is coming. The grass is green once again, the daffodils have shown their beautiful faces, the sky is wonderfully blue and the sun has come out.

Thank God we don't stay in the same season all of our life. Time marches on sometimes marching right over us as we lay in the dust of yesterday. The wind of tomorrow blows softly, I can hear it but am yet to feel it's caress on on my face. Today is where I am so I do my best to be fully present right now. I don't want to miss anything.

Freedom

Freedom is the ability to start and stop.
-Bob Mumford

Who is in charge?

"All the energy that we expend to keep things running right is not what keeps things running right." -Annie Lamont

Oh, To Be Free......

" ...the full liberation of man and his world is still to come."
-Henri Nouwen

Marching into March

I am having a wonderfully normal life. I have not been in the hospital this year. My lungs feel clear. I am able to take a deep breath with no pain, crackles or wheezing. It's amazing how good you feel when you take care of yourself.

Finding my heart.

My vacation was wonderfully relaxing. For me there is nothing like reflecting on the ocean to clear your head and heal your heart.

Below is a recent quote I have been chewing on-

"So much is distilled in our tears....not the least of which is wisdom in living life. I have learned that if you follow your tears, you will find your heart. And if you find your heart, you will find what is dear to God. And if you find what is dear to God, you will find the answer to how you should live your life." -Ken Gire

My sunny place

"I drink deeply from the well of friendship and come away thirsting for more."-T.Newson

I am on a self-care vacation. I have left behind the family, the freezing cold, the gray skies and all the winter doldrums that go with February in Tennessee.

I am in sunny south Florida. The high today will be 73. The sky is a brilliant blue. I feel at home with the palm trees, the sand and the sun.

These are my people, the vibrant cultures that intermix in Miami. The warm embrace of those I grew up with, those who watched me evolve from a child to a woman.

There's no place like home, especially in February.

Life Is Good

It's 2010 and I'm alive.